How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
