I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
