Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
