drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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