wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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