I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Randomize
