he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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