Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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