Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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