i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ok first of all what the fuck
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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