Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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