i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
