Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
