I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
