You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize