I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
