I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
