im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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