Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
