and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
