yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
