I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
