saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize