I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
