His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
