Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
