I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
