Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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