Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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