You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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