Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
