i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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