dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
