Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
