I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i think i just lost a toe
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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