Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
