Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
