pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
