You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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