i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Someone came in the potted fern
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
