redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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