If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my liver is dry heaving
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
