I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
