so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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