I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
