She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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