I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
