What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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