I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
