Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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