69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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