is your mom at the bar?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
