how hairy? two words: wookie tits
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
