I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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