I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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