My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
