Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
