bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
