dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How external is "for external use only"?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
