are you so shy because you have an std?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
