I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
