Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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