walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
