I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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