In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
