hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
