Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
