think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
