Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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