The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
