He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize