She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The beer is more important than you right now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
